National Coming Out Day October 11th — Hijacked by HRC

Reclaiming the Spirit of National Coming Out Day

October 11, 2025

Today is National Coming Out Day, a day meant to celebrate the courage it takes to live authentically as lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, or any other identity under the rainbow. For many of us, it’s a moment to honor personal journeys, support loved ones, and build community. But this year, like many before it, I find myself wrestling with how this day has been shaped by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), an organization that, for some, has drifted from the heart of what coming out means.

Don’t get me wrong—HRC has done undeniable good. Since its founding in 1980, it’s been a powerhouse in advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, from marriage equality to workplace protections. National Coming Out Day itself, launched in 1988, owes much to HRC’s early efforts to promote visibility and pride. But somewhere along the way, their direction has left me—and I know I’m not alone—feeling disconnected from the day’s original spirit.

My unease stems from HRC’s strong push for “gender-affirming care” for minors, a term that encompasses medical interventions like hormone therapy or surgeries for transgender youth. For some, these interventions are seen as lifesaving, a way to align body and identity. But for others, myself included, the idea of minors undergoing irreversible procedures raises serious ethical questions. The science is still evolving, and long-term studies on outcomes are limited, but it doesn't point to better outcomes. Critics argue these treatments can amount to mutilation, especially when applied to young people still navigating their sense of self. It’s a charged debate, and tying National Coming Out Day so closely to this controversy. I'm against gender bending treatments for minors, full stop.

Coming out, at its core, is about authenticity, not medical intervention. It’s about saying, “This is who I am,” whether that’s to a parent, a friend, or the mirror. For me, the beauty of this day was always in its simplicity: a celebration of truth-telling, of breaking free from shame, of finding community. But HRC’s focus on gender-affirming care, alongside their corporate partnerships and political alignments, can feel like it’s overshadowing that raw, human essence. It’s as if the day has been co-opted into a broader agenda, one that not everyone in the LGBTQ+ community fully aligns with.

I’ve seen murmurs of this sentiment online, particularly on platforms like X, where people express frustration that HRC’s influence has turned a day of personal liberation into a megaphone for divisive issues. Some feel HRC’s advocacy prioritizes trans issues over the broader spectrum of queer experiences, leaving less room for those who just want to celebrate being gay, lesbian, or bisexual without wading into medical or political debates. Others question HRC’s ties to corporate sponsors or their alignment with certain political figures, wondering if the organization still speaks for the grassroots.

So where does that leave us? For those of us who feel this disconnect, I think it’s time to reclaim National Coming Out Day in our own way. Let’s make it about the stories again—the late-night conversations, the nervous texts, the moments of relief when someone says, “I love you anyway.” Let’s focus on the joy of living openly, without feeling pressured to endorse any one organization’s agenda.

There are other groups out there carrying the torch for authenticity and support without the baggage. The Trevor Project, for instance, does incredible work providing mental health resources and crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ youth, emphasizing emotional well-being over medical choices. Local community centers and independent queer collectives often host events that feel closer to the ground, less polished but more real. Seek them out. Share your story. Listen to others.

This National Coming Out Day, let’s honor the courage it takes to be yourself, whatever that looks like. Let’s create spaces where everyone—whether they’re coming out as gay, bi, trans, or anything else—feels seen without being funneled into a single narrative. And let’s keep the conversation open, even when it’s messy, because that’s how we grow.

If you’re feeling the same way I am, know you’re not alone. Share your thoughts, your stories, your hopes for what this day can be. Let’s make National Coming Out Day ours again.